Rest In Heaven, Leilah.
On Saturday, December 14, 2024 around 2pm, Leilah passed away. It is with the heaviest of heart that I write this (with eyes full of tears) because I miss her. I miss my friend— not “furry friend”, but friend (she was family as well). Leilah and I go back as far as 2013. I went to the animal shelter in Hamilton in search of a pet/staff (I had a mouse problem living so close to the railroads, and neighbors that didn’t hire an exterminator like I had, so I required the traditional mouse killer). Initially, I was looking for an orange tabby or calico cat, but found the orange one too strange (literally hanging upside down from the cage, lol). I considered him nonetheless until I saw her…Leilah. She was very small and INCREDIBLY fluffy. Her eyes seemed larger than her body at the time and she was so beautiful. I couldn’t resist. I bought her then and there, I didn’t have a carrier so we grabbed a box and took her home.
At that time, I was in a relationship with someone (we lived together), but Leilah was mine by ownership. She was the apple of my eye…that was of course until she nestled her butt into my pillows in such a way as to mark her territory. I jokingly got on the Facebook app and made a claim to sell her for free. We weren’t going anywhere apart though— as much as I threatened her and she would threaten me back (from the way she eyed me down and shook her tail wildly). Leilah has been an amazing (annoying— at times very annoying, but very awesome) pet, friend, pet daughter, employee, protector, family. I’m crying as I write these words because it hasn’t even been a full day and I cannot stand being away from her. I miss her (I said it earlier but I’ll say it however many times is necessary). I’ve experienced death to know that missing and crying and screaming will not bring them back. I was so distraught in such a way that I called an old lawyer friend (male) because I haven’t felt this way since my grandmother’s death. Unfortunately, the disconnect between us made the phone call very empty and cold. Antidotal responses involving religion/spirituality/toxic positivity/perseverance porn are unwanted.
Leilah meant a lot to me. We had healthy arguments and unhealthy arguments (her retaliation peeing and pooping and being in places she shouldn’t, were common cat and owner matters we addressed in her early to mid years), but we never crossed a line to the point of serious harm or hurting each other’s feelings (play fights, her scratching me or any reprimand— out of mutual love and respect. Speaking of which, I’ve seen those aggressive cat videos and I’m so thankful Leilah was never that kind of girl. She was so sweet even when she was spicy.).
I will never get over Leilah’s death. There were sacrifices I gladly made for her to the very end, and I would do it again because she loved me and I loved her and we protected each other as best as we could. I don’t see any one but myself having sympathy for my loss, but I just wanted to write how great of a soul she was. Leilah, baby…baby I miss you— it hasn’t even been 24 hours since you’ve been gone. I can’t even walk tinto the other room where you passed away in yet. I was tossing and turning and crying all evening and I don’t know the words to express how thankful I am to have chosen you and that you chose me right back. Baby girl, I’m really going to miss seeing your face, your weird mannerisms, your human mimicking, your chirping/intelligent communication, your smarts, your warmth, your love— I fucking love you Leilah.
Love,
Chalise (your equally charming friend/mom/family/protector/love)