This is Goodbye, David.
So…how did we get here? I’m sure you’ll want to tell me later. When or if you do, I might give you the chance to tell me. I won’t assume what you did or did not do to me when I wasn’t looking but I will release myself of all the things held between us because you decided to participate in activities that have harmed and defiled my life, health and livelihood. This is my goodbye to you. This is needed for me to break whatever connection I thought we had left. Years ago, you asked for us to give the relationship another try and I told you I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready because it was a long time since we saw each other and we’d only had a few discussions on the phone. I didn’t want to just jump into a relationship because I needed to be sure you were ready to have a fulfilling partnership and it didn’t sound like you were. It sounded like you needed more of a friend, which is what I offered you and always extended. I didn’t go into great detail about why we couldn’t be together but I could tell that you disconnected after I told you that “I need a plus in my life and not a minus.” Shortly after, you disappeared. I didn’t see or hear from you until your mother passed away. Even though you just went away, I still thought we left on good terms. I didn’t want to be hurt and I didn’t want to hurt you— I declined a relationship with you because I knew it wasn’t time for us. You had just got out of serial dating and living with someone; and before that you broke up with someone you were engaged with AND helped belittle me. That reason alone was what made me think that you weren’t ready for a relationship— because you tried to hurt my feelings with a woman who chose to internet beef with me and you didn’t prove that you changed or was even sorry for participating in the drama. Apparently, situations like that have only gotten worse..so much worse. Why is it when you’re dating me, there’s some women in the dark willing to try to harm me; when each and evert
So see, I have to let you go. You consistently have shown me you don’t mean me well. I have extended patience, hope and genuine compassion for you and your bullshit ego has it limits because it has gone too far at my expense. This is not an ego thing on my part, this is my life—you’ve risked my life in ways that were empty and selfish. Funny because I would’ve gladly risked my life for my loved ones (friends, family, lovers) without hesitation but not for people who betrayed/sacrificed me for self serving and malicious purposes.
I was really good to you, loyal and faithful to you, was a good woman and done way more than I should have but that is my lesson and my part to forgive myself for because this situation/connection isn’t worth or sensible dying over. So even though you’re controlling, manipulating a lot of things that is going on around me in my environment— I’m just gonna cancel any intentions between us even as friends goes. Someone who cares about me would not try to physically harm or hurt me the way you’ve done. It’s just an unhealthy connection.
When I met you, I noticed you were the black sheep of the family— a hotheaded troublemaker, always getting locked up. When I was with you, I encouraged you to be free but told you I wanted you and your family to see what I see in you. At my detriment, that was my problem to see the potential in others and help bring it out into the world. I knew how much you cared about your father’s opinion and did what I could to assist you. While I was working and paid the bills, I encouraged you to pursue your goals to go back to school, become a fire fighter, get back into the military, bible study and church together…etc.. You did all those things because I was happy to do that for you, including all the cooking and most of the cleaning. What I DON’T tolerate is the disrespect: the constant cheating, lies and upon my recent discovery you sleeping with my then best friend and you exploiting me, threatening me and harming me. I cut you off December 2020 and never reached out to you or spoke to you again. I can move on the rest of my life to never contact you, ever, especially after hearing you slept with my friend and family members. You disgust me. I’ve been loyal and faithful to you but you have never been deserving of my presence, let alone my love. I wouldn’t even have done this article if you just would’ve left me alone after I stopped talking to you, but no, like Marcus, Danielle, and much of everyone else, you just can’t handle rejection and are toxic co-dependent people. When I was with you through all the years, I held you down to the point it stressed me out— remember the peptic ulcers I developed when we were together. I stopped having a relationship with you in 2017, and then our friendship ended in 2020; I don’t need to risk my health, livelihood or happiness for you to lie or hurt me again.
I didn’t feel like what I’m about to post was necessary until you continued to display such aggression and entitlement to assassinate my character and oversee my life. Considering a lot of people have witnessed and know about your indiscretions already, I feel it’s best to lay it out before you. In order to interrupt your lies, projections and exaggerated, dramatic flair ups, I’ve listed a few areas where you have me fucked up to think I should or would accept the disrespect, triangulation and narcissistic tactics any further.
You have herpes (and possibly something more). I’m not saying that genital and oral herpes is a huge taboo but I am saying how are you mocking me for anything when day after day, you live the life of a careless bachelor sleeping around with women recklessly; also when you have a baby on the way and in a relationship with someone? Let’s start there. You told me December 2020 that you are not ashamed of having herpes, so it was very amusing to find out you were in an on again off again relationship with Daniel Danielle Saunders, someone I grew up with since elementary school. I mean if she wanted to flex that she was dating/getting engaged and having my ex’s baby, plus trying to one up me and her friends then maybe she shouldn’t have tried it with a sex & drug addict who has an incurable STD, narcissistic tendencies and an unhealthy obsession with me (his ex who he hasn’t seen in person or fucked since many, many, many, many, many fucking years and relationships ago). I don’t know, maybe she too has a flair (“flare” but no pun intended) for the dramatics.
You are an absentee father. Before you can criticize anyone on their parenting, perhaps look within. Why have you been a neglectful figure in someone’s life when you have the day to day, ups and downs as everyone else, excluding me? In comparison, I have acted responsibly exceedingly well in more ways as a parent than you ever have - from basic care to acts of love, understanding and compassion. You, with the help of others, strategized multiple ways in order to attack my health, finances and environment that affects my pets yet I still show up for them more so than you have for any pet or human child you ever had.
I didn’t mind being the breadwinner, paying the bills, the mortgage, our dates and trips for the entirety of our relationship. I really didn’t then, because I believed the bigger picture was to help support you for a career that would’ve helped the both of us in the future, (better place to live, me going back to school and our family). I do mind that you were insensitive to my feelings— and I didn’t appreciate the ONLY gift I got from you without asking was a jumbo packet of peanut M&Ms and mylar balloons on Valentine’s Day. And it’s sad, because that memory is now tainted with the fact you more than likely that was a guilt present for sleeping with someone.
You’re a pill popping, multi-drug user with alcoholic tendencies.
You’re bi-sexual. Admit it to yourself and the public— you like dick and vagina. You are ashamed as you weigh society’s “pros and cons” forgetting that what’s trendy today can be trash tomorrow. Fuck them! Not literally of course but then again, that’s what you do LITERALLY. Do what it is you love to do with who you love to do it with. Ask yourself, “Hey, what do I want to do today? Suck a dick? Fuck and get fucked any old which way?” It’s all up to you. I’M not the one judging you. You’re judging you and letting society judge you. When I told you “Go fuck a man again.” I meant it. I knew your aggressions and I bet you felt better after doing it… again, and again. You’ve made it seem like that was something I wouldn’t accept about we were still together for quite sometime after you told me you slept with your male probation officer. I only cut you off after the disrespect stunt you pulled when you slept with your brother’s fiancé.
Speaking of which, do you really care about anyone?? I don’t think you even care about yourself to be honest. You go into your self serving and lustful ways but has any of that been healthy or fulfilled you. As women try to excuse this behavior, by stating some stupid shit like how they envy people who do what feels right to them, it’s dangerous to your life and to others — like you literally told me (December 2020) that you almost died of an overdose. You have a history of disrespecting EVERYONE, even yourself. Shall we remember the time you sweet talked your high school girlfriend into having sex with you and then your brother (not the brother who’s fiancé you slept with two weeks after y’all had a double date; I’m talking about the other one).
Also, you’re co-dependent and everyone sees it. You’ve gone out of your way to try to prove that you only loved me for my money but bitch I was making no more than $27K as a temp when we were in a deep and serious relationship (and you were working plus being a National Guard and your adopted family has some coins $$$). You’ve had countless romances and non-romances in which you could’ve lived off anyone else but you always came back to me. You were driving people’s fancier cars, staying at places that were way better (I remember you inviting me to a partner’s place and they had a jacuzzi room), you were given $$$$ allowances and gifts and trips…—- and yet YOU would find a way to call me or see me. This isn’t a declaration in order for you to come back to me now— this is an observation dismissing your claims that our relationship was just for money when you’ve had countless of opportunities to live off of someone else. You’re trying to blanket your feelings and the years we had with each other, because I thought of doing that too —- we mirror each other emotionally sometimes. I think it’s because of a complimentary childhood trauma we share but nonetheless, I cannot belittle the relationship because, I’m not gonna save face and deny what we had because it helps me move on quicker and more seamlessly. The only reason why I haven’t hear from you now is because you did the ultimate fuck up by sleeping and having a relationship with someone I recently found out to more duplicitous and evil than I originally thought. Ask yourself, with all the women you’ve been with, and tried to show off why did you ask them/have them feel like they had to look or behave or mimic me? You’ve never asked or persuaded to be like anyone but myself and yet for years, I’ve noticed that you would try to do things in order to make me jealous or insecure about other women. Funny thing is, they were the ones, including you that were insecure and would go out of their way to make it noted that they chose something about me, my character, likes or quirks that they can do too or try to do better. I felt second hand embarrassment and annoyance witnessing the circus act you’ve had other people perform in order to either irritate me or question my value. To this day, I don’t think that I’m second to any of these women you’ve tried to show off — not even Danielle. It was disappointing to see you stoop that low and even more disappointing you expected that to be your kill strike in order to hurt my feelings. Firstly, I took a very long break from Danielle many years ago because of the kind of person she is alone, then made the final decision to walk away from her for good permanently — this was way before knowing y’all two were having a relationship. Having found out on my own, I’m still not jealous or upset. I’m disgusted, genuinely disgusted that you’ve put me in a situation, again where someone thinks they can tear me down in order to puff themselves up. Not only that, but this is another moment where some woman has decided to threaten my life socially, financially, environmentally… in order to win your favor. If you were absolutely happy with Danielle, you wouldn’t have had or influenced old girl to behave like me or dress like me. The two of you also wouldn’t require still keeping tabs, overseeing what I do, criticizing and blocking my prospects, connections and opportunities. Your flying monkeys and audience believe that what y’all two have is something deep but if that was the truth than you would've let me go a very long time ago. Yet, you chose to keep the relationship between the two of you secret. And you chose someone who knew me since the 3rd grade, grew up with me and been there for sleepovers, birthdays, phone conversations, knew my mannerisms, funerals, births, relationships, breakups, parties, everything. In a sad twist of fates, you like attention and money but also me, she and society has given that to you a little but you’re unsatisfied because you’re still destroying yourself. You punish yourself by doing toxic things— over indulgence in sex, alcohol, gambling, adrenaline rush…obsessions. When you think, look or reminded of me, you medicate by doing something toxic and often gorge yourself on that. You feel a partial shame and get angry at me because you couldn’t give me the life that I wanted; and so you give it to someone else (and feel guilted again which becomes a cycle - to which you tarnish or negatively comment something about me or “punish” me— have people do something hurtful to me). If society told you to leave each other, you’d greatly consider it because you’re not fulfilled but she’s the closest thing right now you have that’ll give you a sense of me. So now here we are, you are stuck with a synthetic version of me, miserable and when you realize she’s less and less of me, you will act out passive aggressively in unhealthy ways and become very cruel (to whomever). I’m not at a point where I feel sorry for either one of you— especially after what you’ve guys have done to me (exploit me). Y’all could’ve literally had a relationship without trying to assassinate my character and exploit me but that proves that you two linked up only to spite me because I ghosted the both of you and now are trying to save face. I’m embarrassed and sad to say in comparison, what we had was much more deeper, exciting, passionate and fulfilling —even in our most broke moments but you fucked it up and I am disgusted to even being your friend. You thought your behavior and theatrics would make me jealous or something but it invoked an unappealing feeling towards y’all that resembles pity but is most certainly not. Y’all actions were pathetic and the immature games y’all are playing regarding my livelihood is malicious, unattractive and gross.
Danielle and Marketta wrote about their feelings for you then had the audacity to be mad at the other for still fucking around behind my back in a hypocritical way (one less person to compete with). This is disgusting, because none of them genuinely cared about my wellbeing, happiness or health.
(above) Can we talk about how much of a kiss ass Marketta was while playing the side chick? Anything to be pushed to the main female.
And as you write about your feelings to a woman that copied off me HARD, who’s life pursuit is to one up me unprovoked and by the looks of things has turned you into an unhealthy version of your former self when we first started going out, I see now how you went to this…
…from this (pictured below). Danielle has been a very insecure and jealous person, but I didn’t know how ugly she could be until she talked about her other closest friend, Oprah. “Oprah’s too young to be in a serious commitment” then it’s “Oprah’s too young to get married" and other shady shit and as I was noticing I kept speaking up for a friend of a friend, I started withdrawing from Danielle more than usual. While I’m writing this, it seems like she just can’t genuinely see other folks happy or prosperous if it seems like a threat to her ego, which is pathetic of her.
And while you may have thought you have the best thing going on with women who are deeply damaged, phony, and an empty vessel with a hole in it, I and people with a brain disagree but are also not here to stand in your way. You made your bed when you crossed me. Unbeknownst to me that you were doing dirty shit behind my back, I continuously offered you something pure and beautiful with patience. Then after knowing, I extended grace for you to apologize—- not a relationship, not forgiveness, but just for you to have one redeeming quality about you. From what I hear, you’re upset at me because YOU listened to your friends, Danielle, my sister, and a toxic community to betray me— and the whole time they were just very sickeningly jealous but you thought, after all you’ve been through in your past and the life you lived, that you didn’t think God was sending you the right kind of woman so soon at your age. That’s YOUR fault— your anger is misplaced and you should’ve thought about that BEFORE sleeping and doing grimy shit continuously with other people. Now you’re trapped with toxic women that are photocopies of me and competing with things UNPROVOKED (and that’s really fucking creepy and confusing to me, bruh, cause like I never had an issue with sharing ideas or being around people; but now you got me out here questioning folks’ motives like a motherfucker!!!).
Just look back and reflect emotionally, mentally and spiritually how your growth and freedom was with me compared to now. You didn’t start getting into trouble and whatnot until you were fucking around with them and have since gone downhill without me in your environment— which is why y’all stabilize yourselves by Danielle still pretending to act like me and you still needing to stalk me. Also realize, that deciding factor of financial stability was always with me—- even to this day, dumb motherfucker, the money ya’ll lavishly spent has been off of my labor and strife. And when you were locked up in 2013, it has since been a scheme between Danielle, Marcus, my family and the community to financially abuse me (destroying my property many times including car, stealing my identity, physical abuse (poisonings= medical fees), disrupting/stalling networking opportunities and ventures, etc.). But even then, when I was with you, EYE was the one supporting you—- in MY house, MY car, MY working a job and a very flourishing side project AND YouTube while cooking, and cleaning and practicing/encouraging Spanish with you, supporting your goals, paying for our trips, be a sex kitten, etc.—— I mean oh my GAWD, I want to VOMIT as I’m writing this shit because holy fuck! The shit I have wasted on you was still not even the best of me but thank FUCKING JESUS, I don’t have to worry about that anymore. Please direct all your angst and evil intentions to the appropriate parties, to which NONE of them belong to me.
—Chalise
